Preparing For Solo Childbirth With A Deployed Spouse
- Izzy Poole
- Sep 6, 2019
- 3 min read
Childbirth is scary enough but it can rattle you to your core when going through it without your husband. This is a fear that almost all military spouses have in the back of their mind and it is a possibility that we need to come to terms with.
When you become pregnant, or are thinking about trying to conceive, you dream about the day you and your husband can officially welcome your child into the world. This daydream is filled with pure happiness and the room is full with the three of you. It is very difficult to face the harsh reality that as a military spouse we are not awarded the guarantee that our day dreams of childbirth will become reality.
However it doesn't have to be so scary! Yes it will be sad and yes you will always continue to hope he will make it home but you will okay if he isn't, because you are STRONG! And you're not alone! 12.9% of military spouses deliver their child without the physical presence of their husband. These women are just like you and shared the same worries but they made it through and you will too!
Our podcast guest Linzi said it best when she told us that when you're finally holding your baby in your arms it doesn't matter if anyone is in the room at all because the moment is so blissful that only your baby matters. Check out the full interview on the podcast to get more insight from Linzi who has experienced solo childbirth!
My biggest take away for you is to remember that your husband wants to be there just as much as you do so instead of focusing on the negatives remember that you will be able to introduce your husband to the most amazing little human you've ever met. Every single birth story is different but in the end once the family is together and embraced in love it wont matter who was in the delivery room because you have forever together from here on out.
Here are some tips for moms to be preparing for a solo birth:
1.) Relax
An impossible task I know but it really will help. As much as you try to plan somethings are just out of your control and you need to let it be. Your body is already going through a tremendous amount of physical stress that the added mental stress can have possible negative implications to your little one. A study showed that there is a noticeable correlation to preterm labor and low birth weight in babies who's fathers were deployed at the time of their birth. So kick your feet up and enjoy your pregnancy because it is a special time for you to cherish,
2.) Meal Prep
When you come home from the hospital alone with a new born the last thing you want to do is worry about cooking dinner. Meal prep and make frozen ready to go meals stored away for your convenience. If you get tired of frozen foods ask for a meal train instead of gifts when people visit, it will help mama out and in turn help baby,
3.) Get Your Fur Babies Taken Care Of
If you have fur babies keeping you company at home organize a system to have help with getting your pooches walked. We know you still love your fur baby but entering motherhood with a deployed spouse will have you stretched thin and having a helping hand take the pups out on a walk will be one less physical exertion you have to overcome. Rest and keep your tiny human inside but try to keep your dogs schedule consistent so they adapt to the new edition with ease.
4.) Get Your Baby Enrolled in DEERs
Your baby needs its benefits and you might have to tackle that battle on your own if your spouse is not expected back within a week of your child's birth. A tip is to prepare the paperwork as best you can with your husband before his departure. If you still need help don't hesitate to reach out to his chain of command if some of them stayed back in garrison and if they're gone as well ask your FRG leader!
5.) Keep In Touch With Your Spouse
This might seem like an obvious tip but you will need the support of your husband now more than ever. You will be extremely busy adapting to a new baby but make sure you find some time to fill in your man because he doesn't want to miss a beat of baby updates either.
Check out my interview below with a real army spouse who experienced solo birth and listen to her tips. Her story is relatable and her perspective can really help some of you spouses out there who are fearful of this situation. Link below!
Podcast:
Informational Links On Military Solo Birth:
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